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                                                                                 WELCOME TO MY AUTHOR PORTFOLIO

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Back in the days of horses and carriages, it might be heard that someone’s horse was boggled, suddenly spooked by something visible only to the horse, perhaps a spirit. But since those bygone days, it seems that the only things ever boggled are minds. Mind-boggling is a common occurrence, but surely something other than horses and minds can be boggled. Imagine a stomach at a hot dog eating contest being boggled by the never-ending flow of chewed up buns and franks. “What in the name of Martha Stewart is going on up there?” 

 

The concept of infinity leads directly to mind boggling, the inability to wrap one’s mind around the concept. Mainly because infinity keeps on going...and going...and going…et cetera...et cetera...and so on....Ad infinitum, to infinity, say the Romans.

 

To infinity and beyond says Buzz Lightyear. 

 

What is infinity plus one? According to the experts, that is also infinity, and they give the concept of Hilbert’s grand hotel, a very large hotel with an infinite number of rooms. The accommodating hotel manager always finds another room for another guest. But will there be enough housekeeping staff to get the job done? And enough of those wee bars of soap? And expect a crowd at breakfast huddled around the waffle-maker.

 

Is infinity minus one still infinite? Yes, say the experts. So infinity minus one is equal to infinity plus one? Again, the experts say yes.

 

Is infinity divided by infinity equal to one? No, say the experts. That is undefined. Not that we don't know the answer, of course. It's just that the answer doesn't exist. So stop asking questions that don't have answers!

 

Okay. What is the opposite of infinity? Well, we do know that one. The opposite of infinity is a number that is just barely above zero. According to the experts.

 

The symbol for infinity is the lemniscate, casually referred to as the sideways eight. Let’s say you need to choose a date for International Infinity Day (because why not?). You might choose a date with some eights. You know there will be great partying on August 8, 2088, a mere 62 years from now. A never-ending party.

 

Symbolically, rings and tattoos in the shape of a sideways eight declare their infinite devotion to another. But, baking cookies in the shape of the infinity symbol does not mean they never run out. Unless, of course, you eat half a cookie, then eat a fourth of a cookie, and then an eighth of a cookie, always half as much as you ate previously. There should always be something left. Trouble is, soon you won’t be able to see what’s left. And then your sadness will be never ending.

 

I want to sign off with the Shari Lewis and Lambchop hit from the 1990’s—The Song That Doesn’t End. Try getting this out of your brain this week:

 

This is the song that doesn't end
Yes, it goes on and on, my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because...

 

This is the song that doesn't end
Yes, it goes on and on, my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because...

 

This is the song that doesn't end...